WHAT THE DANCE BROUGHT ME:

Through the dance I conquered my body like Napoleon
conquered the world. With every movement I possessed
more land, I became the explorer of numerous continents
spread over arms, legs and torso. I brought down many
no trespassing signs, I opened forbidden worlds, I died
thousand deaths during contact-improvisations and was
frozen on the floor while doing some relaxations, but I went on.

Unstoppable by anyone or anything, because in me flamed
a holy fire, like a fanatic. I was the Jeanne d’Arc of the dance.
Gone was the boredom, the frozen bones, I was in love and
this love should not disappoint me, this love would last
forever and beyond. Sometimes my tormentors disappeared
for a while, dissolved into my body, fantastic!
I discovered my sensuality, I grew into my body. I resembled
the girl with the red shoes that could not stop dancing and
so doomed herself, because of her uniformity.

AFTER ThE SABBATICAL:

Fly, jump, play, punch, kick, scratch, laugh, cry, scream,
roll, toss, wave, spiral, eat, yell, fuck, piss, hurt, walk, gray,
roar and arise.

The street is a playground for my new self, while accompanied
by my happy demons. I step proudly forwards, armed with
my sword and with a flash in my pocket. To make space for
my playful little girl. I spit with fire all around me. “Play, play”,
I say to her. Now there is no brother to throw me in
the corner, when I want to be naughty. No mother that
cannot stand playfulness, because she is wacked. No father
to put the laws of society in my head with force. No sister
who doesn’t want to play with me. With my lovely demons I  
search for fertile meadows. I follow a indomitable
self-confidence: roar, somersault, break open, tear apart,
burst out, let go, explode, consume, chew, spit, rise, descend,
throw, climb, demand, lead, stand, love…..

I throw the little girl in the air and catch her again. She
skips in front of me. The foals in the paddock are making
crazy jumps and we laugh. A large brown unfamiliar bird
looks at us. The sun shines profusely after the rain. 
A fresh breeze is blowing calmly. The ferns, buttercups
and poppies are the carpet under our feet. I laugh and
cry simultaneously. The little girl nests herself in my
arms. Life is good.

Neel de Jong,
July 2010

In this video below you can see how I slowly disappear
into the being state, where time and action fade away.